Money's on My Mind (and in my mouth...)

 

Hello my brokes,

Merry New Year. Hope this finds you still kickin' it and surviving the winter.

So, as you can see, money is on my mind. And in my mouth. But not my pockets or bank account. Guess this blog would be pointless if they were...(probably not). I am currently in self-exile from the job market. I chose this in order to focus on my real work and get it done. This is not easy. I do have the current benefit of parents who have received their prodigal son. That's also not easy- on both of us- but ideal for a BASA who is trying to become an independent artist. This is a larvae phase for me in my artistic metamorphosis. I am slowly turning into the artist I want to be and live with. The aim has always been this, but a huge part of that time was spent on the pursuits of success and fame. I do admit- I wanted the dough. I wanted to "make it," so I could get access (money) to resources (money) so I didn't have to concern myself with (yes, that word.) You can say that was part of the fuel for my motivation and desire. Of course, the whole time I'm moonlighting as a struggling actor/teaching artist/busboy/UPS driver helper/temp whore/freelance vagabond and couch surfer. The adventures have been awesome, tricky, depressing, scary, sexy, and mucho enlightening.

Wisdom usually arrives at the hardest and brokest times in my life.

But at this period in my transition to the "independent", I am broke and hurt and many times miserable and doubtful. Symptoms of fame withdrawal.

The funny and again Wisdom part of this is: I'm fine.
I have Family. Friends. Health. Spirit. And a big one, Purpose. The money thing is a big fucking deal, especially in a society where you can feel like sub-human if you can't afford a cell phone plan or to pay rent (both require a j.o.b.) But, I also don't need it. I am surviving, dependent on my parents, yes. But, I'm still here. I am giving up some freedom for a some care time and "me" time. I'm preparing myself for a new exisence, a new way to look at this thing called "work" and "life" and focusing on one thing: my artistic independence.

I know reality (aka Capitalist Society) is doing just fine without me. And I will return. But hopefully this time, I'll be a full-grown working artist, spreading wings of desire for the ultimate attainment-

Freedom

Forever FREE,
B.A.S.A.